Later Bro!: In Memory of My Brother, Ronald Roger Dejaeghere Jr.

April 20, 2012
Ron Dejaeghere
(1960-2012)

It is with swollen eyes and a heavy heart that I write today. Last week my oldest brother, Ron, passed away at age 51.

The priest, who presided over his funeral, summed up my family’s feelings perfectly as he said “When an addict dies, loved ones grieve twice; once for the person who is gone and once for the person they could have been”. 
Ron was a dude. He spent his childhood growing up on the beaches of southern California and although I can’t remember if he actually surfed or not, the lifestyle and vocabulary stuck with him a lifetime. Unfortunately, so did the partying. 
I am still finding it hard to believe that I he is not here anymore. Although in my heart I know that he is in a better place. He was not happy here. I guess he grew tired of battling his demons.

Two weeks ago, my grandmother, Granny Goose, randomly appeared in one of my dreams and told me that dying does not hurt. “You simply close your eyes and go to sleep”, she said. So vivid, I kept thinking about her, what she said and wondering why she said it to me…until I received the phone call.

Ron’s body gave out, he simply closed his eyes and went to sleep.

A happier Ron in California circa 1976
in a dune buggy that he built with our dad.
Ron and me twenty years ago.

He’s the one who taught me how to tie my shoes when I was little and given the thousands of miles that I’ve run since, that was a pretty darn important life lesson…

Laces tied, man!

We will see each other again someday without drugs and alcohol, but with clear minds and open hearts.  I welcome that day, to see the REAL YOU and I wonder what new lesson you’ll have to teach me? Until then, I hope you’ve finally found PEACE. Love you and…

Later Bro!

(*That’s what I said every time I said good-bye to him, it would be odd to put it any other way.)

Comments

  1.  

    janet hammons

    April 21, 2012

    I am so sorry my heart and prayers are with you! Sending you loving energy! Janet

  2.  

    Anonymous

    April 22, 2012

    How wise of you, my dear, to celebrate your brother’s life and the gifts he gave to you.
    My heart is with you, you are modeling for your beautiful children what to do when faced with the death of a loved one.
    I continue to love and admire you. XXOO. Susan McM

  3.  

    Anonymous

    April 23, 2012

    Margaux, bless you and your family – may your words that you share touch the lives of others and may your find comfort from within for God is good!

  4.  

    Emily

    April 24, 2012

    Margaux,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute to him. My heart feels your pain in losing a big brother to an addiction. I only had 19 years to spend with mine. How lucky we are to have had them in our lives.

    Sending you much love!

  5.  

    Margaux Drake

    April 24, 2012

    Thank you ALL for your kind words during this difficult time. XO M

  6.  

    Anonymous

    August 13, 2012

    To The Dejaeghere Family:

    I went to school with Doug at Montemalaga Elementry and Ridgecrest Junior High. Today I am 49 years old (11-19-1962). I was your newspaper delivery boy with the Daily Breeze. My name is John Lynch. I was the neighborhood brat back then and was getting into mischief alot mainly because I was ADHD and didnt start taking meds till later in my teens. I got along OK with Doug and Ron. I was trying to see who I could get in touch with from those school years so I typed in Dougs name. I felt awful when I heard they passed away.

    I pray that Doug and Ron are at peace and the good Lord brings comfort to your family during this time of trial.

    Sincerely, John Lynch 480-464-7113

    [email protected]

  7.  

    Anonymous

    April 8, 2014

    I just read the bog post you did about Ron. It was beautiful. I knew Ron for many years and was very saddened to learn of his passing. I do believe he felt lost in this world, and now he has peace.