Me: Girls,  I’m running out to a meeting. I’ll be home at 5:15ish, at that point we’ll have 15 mins to get all of our food packaged up for the raw gourmet dinner (that I am hosting) at 6:00. We’re ALL going! 

My Girls: (In unison while NOT moving their eyes from their computer screens) Uh-huh.

Me: Ellie, my corn chips are in the dehydrator I’ll get them out when I come home. Will you please make the raw taco meat and chop some salad greens into ribbons? Teddy, please make the pico de gallo (Why yes, I’m sure I said please to both of them, in the heated rush of trying to get out of the house and I’m not just trying to make myself look like a nicer Mom for the sake of my blog. I would NEVER do that. So “please” it is.) . DO NOT use the food processor (I learned the hard way, at her age, that little fingers and high-speed food processing blades do not mix!). You’ve plenty of time. Use your plastic chefs knife to chop everything up. (silence…) Hey, are you guys listening???

My Girls: Go Mom! We got it. (eyes still stuck to screens)

With that I shut the door and high-tailed it

to my meeting thinking

EVERYTHING WAS UNDER CONTROL.

I’m still sitting in a meeting

that is not even close to being done.

Text to Ellie: Ellie, get everything together. My meeting is running over.

Ellie’s Reply: I finished making my stuff teddy is making hers

(An hour and fifteen minutes to make “pico”, hmmmmm.)

Text to Ellie: Good. You both need to look cute too.

Ellie’s Reply: Kk

I walk in the door.

All hell breaks loose.

Me: Ellie, why aren’t you dressed for dinner? Go get dressed. We have to GO! Where’s Teddy?

Exit Ellie.

I’m kneeling down taking corn chips out of the dehydrator and putting them into a “to-go” container.

Enter Teddy.

She’s cute and dressed for a party but has BIG swollen red eyes.

Me: Honey, what happened?

Teddy: I just got jalapeno in my eyes. (lie.)

Pause…

Teddy: Um, Mom…I don’t think I did but I might have broken your food processor.

I stop packing my chips and

look up and over the counter.

Me: WHAT? Why do you think that??? 

Me: But Teddy, you weren’t supposed to even…

At that very moment out of the corner of my eye

(I’m not making this up. I swear.),

I see one of our puppies, Chester, acting very strangely. 

Me: Is he…?

Chester is in full-body heaving mode at this point.

Me: Yes, he’s throwing up. Open the door for me.

I scoop up the sick puppers, run him outside and

 rub his back while he, ya know.

Back inside. Hands washed.

Me: Why did his throw-up smell like….mint???

Teddy: Yesterday, when you gave money to Ellie to buy ingredients for tonight’s dinner, she bought herself some gum. I told her not to but she said “Mom will never know”. Chester went into her room and ate the whole package of gum. Look there are piles of throw-up everywhere.

I look around.

Yes. I see there are.

Lots of them.

Teddy & I leave for the party.

Ellie stays at home to take care of the puppy

and to clean up his messes.

Stevie is MIA.

Steve is at work.

(So much for “ALL” of us going.)

Late for my own party.

The owner of the party venue hands me HIS phone,

it’s Ellie telling me she called the veterinarian and that he said Chester would be just fine.

And, she added,

“Enjoy your party Mommy.”

Me: OK, huh??? 

(Wondering how she found this phone number.)

(She’s twelve.)

We just arrived back home to a clean, throw-up free home and unpacked our party dishes.

Teddy walks up to me with her laptop on the Cuisinart Web Store Parts & Accessories page.

Teddy: Mommy, is this the part you need to fix your food processor? (pointing at her screen.) I checked the model number and I think it matches ours. I also emailed customer service, so I guess we’ll see what they say. (She’s ten.)

Me: (speechless)

Laying in bed it hit me…

Is a place where we make mistakes and we learn how to fix ’em.

(Oh and for future reference kiddos everywhere,